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Why is it harder to make friend as an adult? Reward $2
Created by au52, 1562 days ago, 1573 views

Have you found that it is easier to make friends when we are children? While that becomes much harder after we grow up to be an adult. Do you know the reason?

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1

MarianaM211561 days ago

@au52 Well, at least in my social enviroment we are told not to mix work with personal life. I don't mean it's imposible to have a colleague that becomes your friend, but I find it difficult. Also because you usually talk about work, which is your first thing in common, and it's complicated to trust in a colleague deep enough that you have completely confidence that your "friendly comments" won't scape his or her mounth. Other reason may be that it takes patience and determination to find more things in common with them other than work and let's face it, the least you want in your personal life is to continue talking about work issues.

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2

pustoi111562 days ago

in my view, all a matter of interest. in the interests of the child, rather narrow. The older we get, the more options. here and begin differences. and friendship, all the same, implies what that community.

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3

dbarskey061562 days ago

I think that part of it is that as children we have not yet learned not to trust others. As we age, trust is easily broken and we become very wary of being hurt.

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4

ZzMrXzZ1562 days ago

Because adults always consider what they would earn from you and what you would earn from them when you decide to start a new relationship.

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5

yas1562 days ago

There are several reasons for this, but I think the main reason is that children are still curious, open-minded, okay with being vulnerable and learning new things. As adults we have formed our opinions, our minds are more closed, we are afraid to be vulnerable, afraid of getting hurt and no longer so trusting as children. And to form friendships we need those child qualities. But unfortunately, we lose them as we get older.

As children we are expanding our world.
As adults, we are settled and we tend to close our world, thus leaving less room for new friendships.

Ofcourse, it doesn't have to be this way. We can remain open-minded and vulnerable if we are brave enough! It just takes some awareness of how we close our world.


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6

Aravi1562 days ago

Hi @au52
The answer is attitude towards life. Children don't mind of anything while making friends but adults do with respect to various parameter to find whether they are suitable and convenient person to be a friend.

For a children, he gave a pencil so he is my friend. Tomorrow, the same friend owe to break that pencil, hence he become my enemy.

I think that you should be already well aware why we can't make friend like a kid? The life will become vulnerable if the friend is not a correct person.

Regards,

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7

MarianaM211562 days ago

I think the main reason is that we no longer have to attend to school or the university. When we're a student we spend most of our time with our classmates and the work tends make people find bonds with those peers we can rely on to face the school challenges. Apart from those, we adults have almost no free time, due to our job and new responsabilities. The work enviroment usually gets a bit competitive, so we no longer seek for people to rely on, but keep more things to ourselfs in order not to fail against our coworkers.
Of course there are more aspects to it, but I think these are the main reasons. Also, as we get older we tend to seek deeper bonds and stop hanging out with "party" friends.

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8

au521561 days ago

@pustoi11

"The older we get, the more opinions", What kind of opinions influence us to make friends?

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9

au521561 days ago

@dbarskey06

Trust may be the key.

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10

au521561 days ago

@MarianaM21

Yes, it is harder to make friends with colleague than schoolmate. Besides competition, any other reasons?

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11

zrodfects1561 days ago

When younger your still working out your interest as most kids would say something like when I grow up i'm going to be a policeman, yet before the end of their teenage years your either doing something completely different or in trouble with the law. As for trusting when younger you tend to trust anyone with anything most of the time which is why you lend stuff out they will keep it, when older they just miss place it.

As adults you also don't always have the time when you have work or family related commitments, friends then seem to think you don't have time for them and as an adult you have already found your interests that others won't like or feel they don't want to be a part of.

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12

au521561 days ago

@ZzMrXzZ

What is the standard for adults to make friends? Getting benefit from each other?

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13

pustoi111561 days ago

@au52
for friendship, must have common interests. as a child, it is toys, games in which we have some experience of it. and play one, not interested. a child we are looking for communication. while as becoming adults, we become more independent. and already we can play independently.

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14

au521561 days ago

@pustoi11

The older we are, the more complicated we will be. So we have less even no friends as adults.

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15

pustoi111561 days ago

in childhood, we are more open, the outside world. growing up, gaining experience, we learn to not trust. including childhood friends.

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16

au521561 days ago

@pustoi11

Yes, there are so many factors like Jealousy, doubt and vanity to influence adult to make friends. Why not be simple? Growth is doomed to be loneliness!

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17

pustoi111561 days ago

if there are children and grandchildren, no.

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18

ZzMrXzZ1561 days ago

Nope, it's not the standard for making friends, but as we grow up, we tend to believe less and doubt more. After all the fail relationships, we would ask ourselves what they want to make friend with us for and this is the time you feel harder to make a new relationship.

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19

mafalda_20161561 days ago

Cuando despertamos a la realidad de que nunca estamos (ni podemos estar) solos "dado que somos la totalidad" ya no nos preocupa el buscar amigos que se ajusten a nuestros deseos, solo abrimos los brazos para que abarquen a toda la comunidad humana!!!

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20

Steve111561 days ago

As children we often choose our friends by how close they live to us or schoolmates. Our biggest problems are small compared to adults. As adults we have trouble meeting other adults because of schedules and lack of common interests. Adults have to shuttle kids, work commitments, family activities etc.

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21

Dipto1561 days ago

@au52 I think the reason may be that when we're children we don't think about making friends with similarities or benefits and we also don't think about what our new friend is going to think about us (For an example : if you're very fat boy you wouldn't ask for a slim girl's friendship). As we become adult we think about our status , impression we're going to create and benefits we'll have from this new friend. It becomes even harder in making friends in opposite gender. But a child's brain isn't fond of in thinking such kind of things. That's why for a child it's easier.

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22

snarpim1561 days ago

При децата доверието и приятелството се печелят много по-лесно отколкото при възрастните.Децата са по-дружелюбни и с тях по-лесно се става приятел отколкото с възрастните.

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23

au521560 days ago

@mafalda_2016

Do you mean that it is not necessary to make friends for adults?

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24

Pravy1560 days ago

Can we all blame it on time and just hush up?
I mean we are here discussing why we don't have friends as adults when instead we could be spending time outing with old friends or making new ones?
everyone has their point of view about making friends and there's no hard and fast rule as to why we as adults have hard time making friends. To each to its own reasons.

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25

csa_k1557 days ago

the children must share their fate

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26

MistahKurtz1525 days ago

I wonder if it has anything to do with PUBERTY. Once we reach puberty and become aware of the other sex as 'The Other Sex' we are in competition with those in our own sex for the attention of 'The Other Sex.' It is really difficult to have friends with those you are in competition with. Thus, we have no real friends after we reach puberty.

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